I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Randomize
