oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
