so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
