how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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