Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
