You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
