k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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