I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Randomize
