I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Randomize
