He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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