I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
God, you're like boner-b-gone
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I just googled if crying burns calories
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
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