so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
We were destined to go to rehab together
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Randomize
