I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Randomize