you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
