Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
