Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize
