Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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