I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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