Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
