you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
