never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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