just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Randomize
