Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
True strength comes from lack of pants
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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