Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Randomize
