Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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