insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
What drink are we having for lunch?
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize