I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Randomize
