There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
