I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
