Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
this just has baby written all over it
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
