we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
