NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
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