the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
