So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
