When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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