he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
