Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
