This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Randomize
