Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
