bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
