She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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