I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Randomize
