gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Randomize
