i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Randomize
