Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
