He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
