I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
