I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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