I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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