Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
