I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Randomize
