3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
