Midget sex pt 2 tonight
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Randomize
