There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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