i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Randomize
