It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
