anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
