it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
