Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
