She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I would ride that face into the sunset
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
