Do you still have your period?
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
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