People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I'm at about main and main street
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Randomize
