Sry I called you an 8
Say something about gay babies.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
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