You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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