I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
