I like to think it a success when the cops are called
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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